22 January 2010

an abrupt end

... to a love affair that should have ended a long time ago...

Read on a box of McChicken portions:

Breaded seasoned chicken meat and skin, comminuted and formed - must be cooked.

I find this excerpt is disturbing on several levels:

1. "Meat and skin" - I think that if it was all-white breast meat they would want that to be known. Obviously, it is not. There are many parts of poultry anatomy that can be classified as meat. I, for one, do want to guess which parts are in my "McChicken portion". Also, the question of How much meat and how much skin? comes to mind.

2. "Comminuted" - broken or crushed into small pieces. Another definition is crushed and pulverized. I had never come across this word until I became an MT and it was used in the phrase "comminuted fracture": fracture in which the bone is splintered or crushed. Somehow, a comminuted fracture sounds better than comminuted chicken meat and skin. But it gets better.

3. "Formed" - after the chicken meat and skin is crushed and pulverized into small pieces (probably to keep people from guessing the mystery chicken anatomy meats and the proportion of skin and meat) it is then formed into patties. Yum, yum.

I think I need to watch "Supersize Me" again after this baby comes. When I'm pregnant, I crave McDonald's burgers and fries like an newbie ex-smoker craving a Marlboro. When I need it and ask for it, that's a cue that my husband should have read my mind 5 minutes ago, gone out to get it, and I should have it in my hands right now to enjoy it.

If we hadn't been moving, and if M hadn't gone to McD's to get boxes, I would have never have read the instructions and ingredients that were on the McChicken portion box. Now, I can't get the phrase out of my head. It plays like a broken record on a turntable, over and over again... (chicken meat and skin, comminuted and formed)

It is a small blessing that I've never craved a McChicken portion sandwich, but it begs the question of what their hamburgers are made of. I don't think we got that box. Needless to say that one phrase (let's have it again in case you forgot it: chicken meat and skin, comminuted and formed) has proven the sudden death sentence for a pregnancy-driven love affair that should not have even started.

1 comment:

Christie J. said...

Ewwww! I used to crave McD's cheeseburgers when I was pregnant. Going to have to come up with something to replace that if I ever have any more kids. ;)